People seem to have difficulty with the idea of turn-based generosity and kindness. I got to thinking about this yesterday while caught in semi-rush hour traffic and everyone was kissing the bumper of the person in front of them stubbornly, leaving drivers who were trying to turn into the lane sitting there like island castaways watching commercial planes flying overhead.
I dead halted and let a guy through, he courteously thanked me and took his place ahead of me. Next thing the three cars behind him decided this was their in as well and they forced their way into the lane without so much as acknowledgment or gratitude.
I raised an eyebrow and sighed. A truck driver was next in line, with a giant cargo container in tow. I started moving forward and he gave me a look like you swear I’d just walked into his house and stole his dinner off his plate. While glaring at me all spear-eyed, he carried on moving and pushed in front of me. Stuff like this really doesn’t phase me, but while sitting there I started thinking about how this is a great example of what people tend to do in life.
Let’s say I didn’t let the first guy in. I would have been just another selfish jerk who couldn’t be bothered about anyone else then, in his eyes. Had I only let him in and then shifted forward and left the rest waiting, the next guy would have thought it’s seriously unfair that the guy in front of him got a chance and he didn’t. You see it from pre-school ages, where one kid gets a bigger sweet or any form of treatment that leaves the rest feeling they aren’t being treated fairly. I’m not sure where it all arises from. Is it really so common for people to just be naturally selfish in their behaviours or is it that they have a mind-set of scarcity – some caveman-like instinct to fight for every crumb because there isn’t enough to go around?
The problem with being a sincere, nice, kind, generous person is you tend to expect the rest of the world to be and feel the same. They aren’t. They don’t. That’s just life. Not everyone is a good Samaritan by nature, but at least take stock of how many times a day you’re the nice guy in a situation, the exception instead of the demanding norm.
PS: This was not a rant. I swear. No really.